


Anything Is Edible, Doesn't Mean You Should Eat It

by Inky_moro



Series: Anno Uno Scribere [102]
Category: Unus Annus - Fandom
Genre: Anno Uno Scribere, Feb 23, Inspired by: Edible Slime Was a Mistake, Memento mori, Unus Annus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-14 13:55:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 634
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29668308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Inky_moro/pseuds/Inky_moro
Series: Anno Uno Scribere [102]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2016157
Kudos: 1





	Anything Is Edible, Doesn't Mean You Should Eat It

Technically anything is edible

It just…

needs a few modifications

and you might not be able to digest it

It’s probably not healthy or sanitary either

but that never stopped me from eating tape as a smoler bean 

just, 

thinking back to that time

tape has a really weird consistency

that is mostly smooth 

but also…

like really thin plastic I guess

it’s paper thin- but does not taste like paper

I would know,

seeing as I also ate paper as a kid 

another one of the things that made me an

let’s say,  _ interesting _ child

Slime is normally made of glue and… baking powder?

some sort of something

to make the glue less sticky

and more akin to the slime we know and love

glue is made of animal bones

right?

that’s what people commonly say

do we actually use every part of the animals we eat??

apparently,

glue can also be made from plant materials

and you can make it at home 

from water, flour, and wheat

(do people normally just have wheat laying around?)

so that part sounds edible

as long as it’s not made from animal feet

but the Borax, 

now that shit sounds toxic as hell 

and google agrees with me

it can cause organ damage

and poisoning

So you can kill someone with Borax

good to know…

does edible slime utilize glue?

cause then I can understand why it would be horrifying 

glue,

I imagine

does not taste well 

I can understand why eating flavored glue would suck 

but looking it up, 

it seems that you can make edible slime with marshmallows?

(+ cornflour and coconut oil, cause otherwise that would just be marshmallow)

which, if I liked marshmallows that much

sounds like something I’d eat

though it would still be super weird

I mean, isn’t slime meant to be played with?

if you’re just making a non-toxic version that’s fine

but you’re making this 

specifically to be eaten

that’s it’s purpose

can you imagine how unhealthy that must be?

and the germs!

if the kids actually played with the slime before eating it

who knows where those tiny demon hands have been?

sounds like a nightmare

so yeah, 

there are a lot of things you could eat 

in fact, you could probably find a way to consume anything and everything

but that doesn’t mean that anything and everything wouldn’t fuck up your digestive system

hell, even things that are edible to some people can be deadly to others!

(milk, I’m looking at you)

  
  


If you tried to eat molten lava

now that would be a trip 

you would burn your throat out, wouldn’t you?

and then proceed to die due to lack of oxygen

or maybe just your throat burning up and turning to ash?

I’m not sure

Has anyone been force fed lava before?

(no one would eat that shit willingly)

I guess the same applies to molten iron and other metals

hold up,

Is lava a metal?

what’s lava made of?

‘cause metals melt...

and lava melts…

but then it turns into rock...

huh

okay

I googled it 

lava/magma is mostly made of oxygen and silicon

a non-metal and a metalloid, respectively 

(side note: metalloids are cool.

just, not really being a metal 

and not really being not a metal

metalloids do their own thing,

they don’t fit into either category

and that I applaud)

but lava also contains metals

like iron, magnesium, calcium, and potassium

(does anyone else find it weird that calcium and potassium are metals?

I mean, we eat this stuff

it’s like, part of the whole ‘vitamin and mineral’ thing

wait

hold on

are minerals metals???

I’ve had so many revelations today, you don’t even know-)

I guess you could eat cooled lava

but that would be pretty tough to swallow 

  
  



End file.
